Pearl E. Gates
Pearl E. Gates
CREATED BY ADAM LOFTEN & GARY YOST 13:20 mins 2019
“If you love someone, take care of them.” Pearl E. Gates exploded onto the late ‘70s New Wave Punk music scene with her band Pearl Harbor and the Explosions. Her life of sex, drugs and rock n’ roll hit pause when she first decided to care for her father in law. Pearl shares how struggling with depression and being both a stage personality and an off-stage friend has been a dualistic life challenge. Caregiving for her sick friends and family has given her the strength to come out of periods of deep depression.
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Discussion Guide:
When Pearl Gates was a child, she used to dream of being a rock star. What were your dreams when you were a child? How might you realize that dream in your life?
Pearl had two very distinct sides to her personality as a performer, confident vs reclusive, fun vs boring, etc. Do you sometimes find that you have two sides to your life? Do you have both inner private vs outer public personas?
If you do feel that you have two personas, do you feel comfortable integrating them both in your daily life or at they at odds with each other?
Pearl had a flourishing musical career when her stepfather was in a serious car accident, and she gave up that career to take care of him because she loved him. What would you do if your loved one was in an accident like that and you couldn’t continue with your career? How would you know how to cope and what resources would you turn to for help?
During her caretaking, her husband wasn’t participating and so their marriage went into decline and she became deeply depressed. “When you’re depressed, you’ve lost your meaning in life.” What do you feel your meaning in life is and how do you sustain yourself during times of depression?
Pearl talks about how it’s a privilege to spend time with people who are dying. Why do you think that is? Have you ever spent time with someone who’s dying? Write a paragraph about what that was like for you.
Where you live, what types of resources do you have to assist you with issues of depression, caretaking, hospice and mental health. How is society stepping up to (and falling short of) its obligations to help those of us in need of such services?